Jesse Ventura has proved himself a Douche Lord of Epic Proportions, by suing the widow of slain SEAL sniper Chris Kyle for defamation. Kyle wrote in his book “American Sniper”  about an encounter with a scruffy SEAL who made a disparaging comment, and Kyle claimed he punched him out, only to find out later that it was Ventura. After Kyle’s untimely death, Ventura sued for defamation of character, and a jury yesterday awarded him $1.8 million in damages.

I tell you that because last year I had a contest to name the AR that I had built. The winning name was O’l Painless, named after the chain gun that Jesse Ventura’s character carried in the movie Predator. Needless to say, the news of his suit’s victory gives me quite a few second thoughts about that decision.

My first idea was to change the name to Ol’ Butthurt, but I didn’t want to have to explain that name every time I asked someone if they wanted to shoot it.

I also thought about defaulting the name to the second place vote-getter, Freedom.

But, after much thought I have decided that I will keep the name of the gun the same, but I will remove Ventura’s face from its record, lest it defame my wonderful gun’s image.