Fill Yer Hands

you son of a

An Open Letter to My Son, the College Student

Dear Son:

Congratulations on your success, here in your freshman year at Georgia State University. I really can’t tell you how proud your Mom and I are of you, and how much you have accomplished!

I know you know this, because it was emphasized more than once at the Orientation that we attended with you, but, despite all the evidence that it does nothing for your safety, Georgia State University, like all schools in our state, are Gun Free Zones. That means that the only people who are allowed to carry guns on campus are law enforcement officers and criminals.

So I am writing you today to remind you that, in the event that someone ever comes in your classroom carrying a gun, you must make a quick assessment:

  • Are they in uniform? If so, does it appear they are looking for someone, or are they there to do harm? (Remember, the shooter at Fort Hood was in uniform, so it’s not a perfect assumption that they are benign.)

If they are not in uniform, or they appear to be there in any capacity other than as a law enforcement officer looking for someone armed, then you and everyone else in the room should immediately grab desks, chairs, backpacks, lamps, and everything you can, and beat the living shit out of this person, until they stop moving.

Don’t wait for them to start taking a religious survey. Don’t wait for them to start shooting. Don’t be fooled by their demeanor. Don’t wait for anything.

Act.

Then, once they stop moving, kick their gun out of their way, and get out of the classroom. Don’t leave campus, and be prepared to speak to the police.

Above all, remember that a Gun Free Zone doesn’t have to be a Gun Free Victim Zone. Act, and you can make a difference.

Stay alert. And act.

 

With all my love,

Dad

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